Things to do with your hands

The collapse of our manufacturing industries has left us with time on our free hands, but never fear - the redundant appendages may be put to good use. Here are some handy tips:

1)  when exiting a car, shop, cafe, house or place of worship, immediately fire up your mobile device and avidly peruse the screen - you might have missed an important trend, heaven forfend!

2)  carry a container,  bearing a well-advertised logo,  full of fairly rough tasting, rapidly cooling coffee. 

3) carry some food wrapped in paper and eat as you walk along - an old favourite in the days of fish 'n ' chips but now encompassing kebabs, sausage rolls, pizza, pies, wraps, baps..............

Safety warning The simultaneous application of any of the above should not be attempted unless you are a master and enjoy having your smart phone covered in coffee or grease.